What a week! Watch out for the reptilians!

Had a customer this week that was a real wing nut! Chemical sensitivities! Must be all natural. That's what I do anyway. We have a $150 minimum. Supposed to be the F/r only. Then she wants this done, that done over here too! Ended up doing Mb/r and the f/r main t/a's only. Still lost money on the job. It was a bit out of the way but we accommodated her anyway. Was there for 3 F'ing hours because she wouldn't get out of the way, under my feet, had to see exactly what I was doing. Then she starts telling me she's clairvoyant, can read minds and can predict the future. To top it all off she tells me that all the richest families in the world ie: Rothschilds, Rockafellers etc., are actually reptilians from another planet sent here to enslave the human race! I get a call yesterday- " there is a small red dot by the door jam in the b/r the size of a pea, it must have come from your corner guard ( that she tried to steal by hiding, found it in the hall closet). You have to come back and get it out. My reply will be- I have to use sulfates to remove that, it's not from my corner guard they are given a 5 point inspection before installation (wink, wink), because of your extreme chemical sensitivities I can not remove it with out endangering you. If I have to go there I was wondering if anybody has a lizard or snake mask I can borrow.......

I have only met one such client before, she ended up having severe mental issues and kept screaming and saying that there were little children with knives running up behind me as I cleaned!! I got the hell out of there and told her daughter, which is who hired me.

A week later, she was found dead in her living room from multiple stab wounds. Point being, maybe they really are reptiles or maybe you are just better off losing that phone number quickly.

Sometimes your only recourse is to tell their family and move on. I hope this lady gets some help.

I don't think she is mentally ill. This is just stuff she believes. The only help she needs is a good kick in the ass. I have been around mentally challenged people and know the difference.

Had one last week that a minister friend of mine owns a locksmith company. He showed up to recore the doors because she had lost the last set of available keys for the rental she was in. She also was told by another company she had to move out due to mold...kind of bait and switch mold remediation company. Best line ever heard in a while to the minister..."what are you guys doing in those duck suits?!?!"

And the rest of the time it was very difficult not to laugh out loud ...or not tempted to just briefly quack like a duck.

Mark Saiger
www.saigers.com